Just Breathe

What would you do if you were told you could never be around the things you loved the most?

This is Amanda’s story of her struggle with asthma and the horse she loves. All in her words.

“…  When I was a year old I was in the barn with my mom while she brushed her horses then a little while later I was lying in emergency unable to breathe. This is when my mom fist found out I was allergic to horses. Ever since I was little I have had an overwhelming passion and love for horses. I remember sneaking out to go sit on the fence with them when I was little and getting into so much trouble for it! My mom sold her horses shortly after she found out about my allergy. When I was 8 my parents took me to see an allergy specialist in calgary, It is probably one of the clearest memories for me. I remember him sitting me down and looking at me and saying I would never be able to have a horse, ride a horse, or be around horses. I cried all the way home to where we lived in Lehtbridge. Later that year we went to Spruce Meadows. I walked around with one of my dads white dust masks. It was here we found out about the Bashkir Curly horse (non-allergenic horse). When we moved to kelowna we did some research and found a farm out in summerland that breed the curly horses and offered lessons on them. I took lessons over there for a while and loved every second of it. My allergies still bugged me but not to the extent they would have before. Because I was born early and my lungs were not fully developed I have really bad asthma so riding was a strain on my lungs, as well as being around the hay and dusts that comes with having horses. My neighbour had owned Tess originally and I was always over there playing with her. She had the curly fetlocks and when she got wet her hair curled so we figured she must be a curly, and the allergies I experienced when around her were from the other horses she was kept in with. When we found out she was for sale we got her a week later. She wouldn’t get into the trailer for the people who came to pick her up from calgary so they went home without her! It was like fate! Not long after this we figured out that it was not the other horses she was kept in with that I was allergic to but Tess as well. Despite this we worked through it. I started taking lessons with Tess and did my first horse show!

I got Tivio a year later. I did lots of showing and was in and out of the hospital emerg quite regularly. As I got more competitive with my riding I started ignoring the pains in my lungs more and more until the summer of 2009 when I pushed myself to far and can no longer enjoy lessons or shows. There was a fire going on at this time and if effected my lungs but I new a week later I was heading down to the coast so I wanted to get as much riding in as possible so didn’t tell anyone how much pain I was in. I went down to the coast and got High Point Champion in my division. When I came back I was at a indoor clinic and didn’t want to pull out so I rode anyways and ended up in the hospital a day after it was done with severe lung infections and specialists telling me If I didn’t smarten up I would be the 1 in 99 people that die from asthma and lung problems. As much as I’ve wanted to I haven’t rode competitive since.

 

A beautiful poem that Amanda wrote about her struggles with asthma and her love for Tivio.

The rhythm is soothing
The crisp air brings me to life
I’m happy
This is the best place
He moves
I follow
The anxiety starts to build
I’m excited
This is the best place
We land I breathe out, exhale, relax
The pain starts to rise
I’m nervous
This is the best place
He starts to disappear
I’m fighting
It hurts
I’m scared
This is the worst place
The voices fade away
I’m asleep
Where is he?
I’m back
This is the worst place
I hate it
His eyes catch mine
I love him
This is the best place
I brush it off
His rhythm is soothing
I let it go
I need to let him go
I can’t